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I really do.  I hate most of how marketing’s practiced today. Strange, I’ll admit, coming from a marketing guy, but here’s what I mean:

I hate marketing that’s pushy.  The signup form that pops up five seconds after I land on your site. The kitchen remodeling contractor who expects you to spend $15,000 at the end of his 45-minute visit.  The software company that wants you to schedule a demo after 75 words of explanation. Really?? You didn’t find your future spouse with an “Excuse me, my name is Hamilton, would you come to dinner with me?” Don’t expect to find your next customer the same way either.

I hate marketing that’s lazy.  You don’t know who I am or what my issues are relative to what you’re selling.  You just blurt out your spiel. Or you never get past the buzzwords.  Shame on you.  You’re lazy and you should lose your job.

Take some time (make an effort!) to understand me and my issues and tell me how what you’re selling addresses them.  And yes, you’ll have to craft different messages for different buyer personas.  Gee, you’ll have to show up for work, poor you.

I hate marketing that’s condescending.  As in “I’m the expert, I know more than you do, here are the facts which lead to the conclusion you must buy my product…” I hate bullies, and this form of marketing is nothing more than an attempt to bully.

There’s this thing called Google and it’s taking the control out of the hands of bullies and putting it into the hands of buyers.

I hate sound bite marketing. “Our software allows you to automate workflow while improving your clinical accuracy and outcomes.” And without explaining how you’re going to accomplish any of that for me you want me to schedule a demo??

Somewhere in your argument, you need to support it with a fact or two. Somewhere!! Don’t forget the information people need to take action while you focus on those wonderful benefits and cool graphics.

I hate belly button marketing. Marketing that comes from gazing only at one’s belly button with zero consideration of the person you want to attract. Too bad you aren’t your customer, then everybody understands what you mean. But you aren’t and they don’t.

I don’t hate all marketing, just how most marketing is practiced today.  And so should you.  Don’t accept it, from the companies you buy from or the people who do yours.